What It Really Means to Feel Safe in Yourself
Have you ever felt like you couldn’t relax, even when nothing was “wrong”? Maybe you avoided checking your bank account, convincing yourself it was better not to know, while the stress quietly grew in the background. Or maybe you caught yourself replaying a conversation, second-guessing every word until you felt drained.
Woman sitting on bed writing in a notebook with a laptop open beside her.
For me, feeling unsafe in myself once looked like this: avoiding social situations, second-guessing what I said, rereading and quadruple-checking emails before hitting send. I felt like I had to know everything that had already happened, everything that was coming, and everything I still needed to do. Because if I didn’t, something bad, embarrassing, or scary might happen.
When I made a small mistake—like misreading the tone in an email—my brain didn’t shrug it off. Instead, it said, “I’m so dumb.” To protect myself, I either avoided or acted tough. Because then no one would judge me, right?
The truth is, these patterns didn’t come from nowhere. They were shaped by past experiences. My nervous system hadn’t learned the difference between “then” and “now.” It reacted as if I was in danger—even when I wasn’t. My body told the story: stomach aches, headaches, a pounding heart. To cope, I tried to control. I gave directions, I took charge, I hoped others would help me feel better. But controlling the outside didn’t calm the storm inside. It didn’t bring the relief I needed.
If you’ve noticed yourself in these patterns, here are a few gentle practices you can try right now:
Pause before reacting. Take one deep breath before you answer that email, check your bank account, or make a decision.
Ground yourself in the present. Notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
Remind yourself: “Then is not now.” A mistake, an awkward moment, or an unexpected bill isn’t proof that you’re unsafe—it’s simply part of being human.
These small steps begin to show your nervous system that you are safe in this moment.
This is where therapy helps. Therapy creates a safe place for your nervous system to relearn. It’s not about fixing you—it’s about helping you understand why you feel unsafe and teaching your body how to settle. Slowly, you begin to notice patterns without spiraling. You practice grounding in the present. You realize that mistakes don’t mean you’re broken—they simply mean you’re human.
And that shift changes everything.
At Mindful Muse, this is the heart of my work: helping people feel safe in themselves again—safe with their emotions, their choices, and their money. If you’ve been carrying the weight of anxiety, self-doubt, or constant planning, you don’t have to carry it alone.
If you’re ready to begin, I’d love to support you. Let’s take the first step together.
